Help me to resist temptation, Lord, especially when I know no one is looking. — Anonymous
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. — Erma Bombeck
I am opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me the position. — Mark Twain
The right half of the brain controls the left half of the body. This means that only left-handed people are in their right mind. — Anonymous
A brain is an organ that starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get to work. — Robert Frost
The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That's where we come in; we're computer professionals. We cause accidents. — Nathaniel Borenstein
Laughter is inner jogging. — Norman Cousins
I used up all my sick days, so I called in dead. — Unknown
There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation. — W. C. Fields
To err is human, and to blame it on a computer is even more so. — Orben's Current Comedy
The words walked right out of my mouth.— James Brady The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again. — Erma Bombeck
With me it is just a genetic dissatisfaction with every thing. — Woody Allen
Having your book turned into a movie is like having your oxen turned into boullion cubes. — John LeCarre
I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals. I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.— A. Whitney Brown
America has become so tense and nervous, it has been many years since I've seen anyone sleep in church — and that is a sad situation. — Norman Vincent Peale
Learn to pause...or nothing worthwhile will catch up to you. — Doug King
We hope that when the insects take over the world, they will remember with gratitude how we took them along on all our picnics. — Bill Vaughn
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. — Erma Bombeck
I am opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me the position. — Mark Twain
The right half of the brain controls the left half of the body. This means that only left-handed people are in their right mind. — Anonymous
A brain is an organ that starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get to work. — Robert Frost
The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That's where we come in; we're computer professionals. We cause accidents. — Nathaniel Borenstein
Laughter is inner jogging. — Norman Cousins
I used up all my sick days, so I called in dead. — Unknown
There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation. — W. C. Fields
To err is human, and to blame it on a computer is even more so. — Orben's Current Comedy
The words walked right out of my mouth.— James Brady The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again. — Erma Bombeck
With me it is just a genetic dissatisfaction with every thing. — Woody Allen
Having your book turned into a movie is like having your oxen turned into boullion cubes. — John LeCarre
I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals. I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.— A. Whitney Brown
America has become so tense and nervous, it has been many years since I've seen anyone sleep in church — and that is a sad situation. — Norman Vincent Peale
Learn to pause...or nothing worthwhile will catch up to you. — Doug King
We hope that when the insects take over the world, they will remember with gratitude how we took them along on all our picnics. — Bill Vaughn